In the Moment and in Retrospect

Lilith Attack was upset this past week. The orange bigoted anti-woman, racist homophobe headed for the white house won the electoral vote. Is it messed up that Hilary Clinton may have nearly 3M more of the popular vote than Trump? In Canada, we too have a system where my "urban" vote is worth less than a rural vote. That aside, my partner is absolutely correct: We can't be sad unless we've fought like hell (and at least, if American, voted, for fuck sake! *look at the USA voter turnout (58 percent!), how many assumed Hilary would win?!) and unless you've done all you can. So here, on our home front, we are in a beautiful position right now. We have an Alberta NDP government lead by an incredible woman. Canada just saw the first transgendered judge sworn in recently in Winnipeg. In Alberta, Bill 6, WCB Coverage for farm workers. Gay-straight alliances in our schools with Bill 10. We fought hard for this. We must continue to fight. We must be able to tell our son in 10 years when he's a teenager and asks what we did - that we did everything we could. That we fought to keep this. A Provincial NDP government and a liberal federal leader, both fighting for change. (But often not hard enough) But. And so - We must hold them accountable. We must hold our media accountable. We must pay attention. So much progression under Obama. And now so much lost. Let us not be idle in Alberta. We cannot let go of our own progression. We are better than that.

The One and Done Club

My friend recently started a blog, oneanddone.ca; a rumination about having one child. Many of her thoughts are also my thoughts and since we decided ("at this time") to also only have one, I've been thinking incessantly about this change of mind and what it will mean for our family. And when friends ask "why" I find myself scrambling to somehow justify this "lesser" family style. Why is it something that needs to be justified? What makes it less noble, somehow, than having multiple? The less-than-understanding nods of "oh yeah..." when I try to explain it to a stranger, and the, "you'll see," sighs from moms of multiples... So this weekend after reading some very compelling articles, one interesting fact is dominating my obsession with understanding this in context of what seems to me to be a cultural no-no (despite the rise of single child families). Lauren Sandler writes in the Times:

"The image of the lonely only — or at least the legitimizing of that idea — was the work of one man, Granville Stanley Hall. About 120 years ago, Hall established one of the first American psychology-research labs and was a leader of the child-study movement. A national network of study groups called Hall Clubs existed to spread his teachings. But what he is most known for today is supervising the 1896 study "Of Peculiar and Exceptional Children," which described a series of only-child oddballs as permanent misfits. Hall — and every other fledgling psychologist — knew close to nothing about credible research practices. Yet for decades, academics and advice columnists alike disseminated his conclusion that an only child could not be expected to go through life with the same capacity for adjustment that children with siblings possessed. "Being an only child is a disease in itself," he claimed." Via

Holy shit! What?! All this futile explanation and my own questioning that it's the right choice for our family and all because of one man who claimed that being an only child is a disease in itself!? A little more reading and I find that not only did he believe in separating boys and girls for learning (i.e. training for motherhood and household leaders), but "h[]e predicted that the American emphasis on individual human right and dignity would lead to a fall that he analogized to the sinking of Atlantis" and that:

Hall argued that child development recapitulates his highly racialized conception of the history of human evolutionary development. He characterized pre-adolescent children as savages and therefore rationalized that reasoning was a waste of time with children. He believed that children must simply be led to fear God, love country and develop a strong body. As the child burns out the vestiges of evil in his nature, he needs a good dose of authoritarian discipline, including corporal punishment.[3] He believed that adolescents were characterized by more altruistic natures and that high schools should indoctrinate students into selfless ideals of service, patriotism, body culture, military discipline, love of authority, awe of nature and devotion to the state and well being of others.[7] Hall consistently argued against intellectual attainment at all levels of public education. Open discussion and critical opinions were not to be tolerated. Students needed indoctrination to save them from the individualism that was so damaging to the progress of American culture.

Via I'm shocked and amazed by this and need to spend some time processing that his ideas about single-child families have maintained their grip to our collective thought and captured the pure imagination of us all. Because these ideas about only-children are truly that. Imagination from Bad Science.

Back to Lilith Attack

I was shocked to see it's been a year since my last post. I have made some career changes to a more positive environment with wonderful, supportive, funny women but along with that change came a return to a work environment not-so conducive to blogging. Also, on a personal note, although rarely (if ever) discussed, my diagnosed "unexplained infertility" came to an end after 4 difficulat years when I sought out Chinese Medicine. After just over three months of Herbs, I was pregnant and a baby is on the way in March! I hope to resurrect Lilith Attack posts and get back on the blog while on my year-long maternity leave! I have missed Lilith Attack and missed the community, but have come out of a place of spiralling discouragement with bright, dry eyes and a whole lotta love and hope and wonder. Peace and Love to my kindred feminist spirits.

Remembering Marsha Ellen Meidow

I am sad to post that Marsha Ellen Meidow, 34, of Calgary has died. This is the email I received from her family this morning:

It is with great sorrow we must inform you Marsha Ellen Meidow has slipped away and begun another journey. Her spirit shall continue to dance, our memories of her will make us smile and her light will shine within each of us.

Join us in celebrating the Life of the Legendary Marsha Ellen Meidow.
We know that Marsha has touched the lives of so many. Everyone is welcome to attend this event. Please know that she passed peacefully without pain, surrounded by her family and love ones.

This event will begin at 4:00PM on Sunday, January 10th at The Republik - 219 17th Avenue SW (The new location for the Republik). There will be testimonials, readings, dancers, songwriters and bands. The line up of artists will be posted soon.
It will be Potluck. Comfort food of all kinds is welcome. Be it vegan, alberta beef or organic, we would greatly appreciate any and all contributions to feed the masses. Plates, napkins and cutlery will be provided.
There will be a Guest Book - Please be sure to write a special message to Tank and Marsha's family in the Guest Book provided. Share your memories and loving thoughts.
There will be a Photo Album - Please print off and bring in any/all photos you may have of Marsha as we would like Tank and the Family to take home a Photo Album compiled by Marsha's friends. Scrapbook supplies will be provided, feel free to bring your own.

CALLING ALL ARTISTS!! We are seeking Silent Auction Items. In order to offset the funeral expenses we would greatly appreciate any/all contributions of artwork or any suitable creative works. (Please bring an easel or small display table to display your work. Some easles may be provided). If you wish to contribute please contact Charity (ASAP) at 403-613-1383.

Our love and support goes out to Marsha's family and to Tank Standing Buffalo.
I am sorry to have to send you this message, and you will attend Sunday.

xo Marsha's family and friends.

May Marsha: beautiful ardent feminist, activist and passionate woman rest in peace.

WIND IT UP!

Damn right, it's better than your's! Eco-Friendly wind up vibrator!
Check out the Earth Angel...

Hero Squad

Attention! Smell your Dildoes! Kim and Amy Sedgwick are campaigning against bisphenol A's insertion in sex toys in Canada. If you won't drink out of the ol' Nalgene bottle because of the toxins and health risks associated with Bisphenol A, do you really want to stick one up your beautiful, soft and absorptive cunt for a nice long vaginal massage? OPI and other nail polish companies have removed phthalates from their darling polishes because we hollered! If our bone nails are enough to absorb nasty chemicals, we MUST avoid getting boned by sex toy manufacturers that continue penetrating their products with toxins - because, simply enough, they can get away with it - because sex toys are a "novelty item." There are alternatives to cheap plastic toys and it's worth spending a little extra coin to have safe sex! In Calgary, you can find them at the lovely boutique, "A Little More Interesting" off the busy intersection of 17th Avenue & 14th Street SW.

SOL_TIONS: ALL THAT'S MISSING IS U!

HACC kicks off its annual campaign with the launch of Homeless Awareness Week the third week in September. The week is filled with events designed to educate Calgarians about the realities surrounding homelessness in our city organized by HACC, other non-profit groups, government agencies and community members.

Event Notice

What the Douche?

Compliments of a friend's email forward, here is a horrifying product from the 50s-60s, "Vagasan", a powder (what!?) douching product (via Madame Talbot) with these lovely ingredients:

Carbolic Acid 1/8 of 1% in mixed usable solution (Phenol, also known as carbolic acid, is a toxic, white crystalline solid with a sweet tarry odor, commonly referred to as a "hospital smell". During the 1880s Diphtheria was treated by Phenol Douches.)

Boric Acid A boric acid douche used to be the most commonly recommended means of addressing vaginal yeast.

Alum (think of pickeling alum)

Methyl Salicylate is a wintergreen-scented chemical found in many over-the-counter products, including muscle ache creams.

and Oil of Peppermint

Oh my godde. Acid and Pickling do not create word associations for vagina!! More on douching.

Tough Guise

Check out this film review of "Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity" by Tatiana Tomljanovic of Calgary's Alliance to End Violence.

Not quite Two Years

Hey I remember this guy... he didn't complete ANY therapy and didn't rehabilitate after serving four years in prison for "terroriz[ing] women in 2003 by breaking into their Forest Lawn homes and attacking them. While under 24-hour house arrest for two previous sex attacks, he raped a 17-year-old girl at knifepoint in the middle of the night when she was home alone."

Sex offender arrested for peeping.

Catalogue of the Catalogued

This is a great site featuring books found in existing libraries that shouldn't be. Upon first finding this site via metafilter, this is my favourite book so far: Moving through Pregnancy. Be sure to click the vacuum photo and view the description of Judith's tedious workout (but great posture!)!

There's also this book and this book and this book and this book and so many more!

Bank of Glass Ceiling er America

Attorney at Law reports:

Bank of America, which acquired the former Merrill Lynch and Co. last year, discriminated against female brokers by offering them lower retention benefits than their male colleagues and steering wealthier investors to brokers who were men, according to a newly filed lawsuit.

The suit was filed today on behalf of Jaime Goodman, a Merrill broker since 1992 who joined Bank of America when the bank acquired Merrill on January 1, 2009. Goodman claims her new bosses demonstrated gender bias against her and other female employees.

She is seeking class-action status for her suit, which if granted would allow other women who claim they were similarly harmed by Bank of America’s allegedly discriminatory practices to join in the litigation.

Info Source: Calgary Herald

Viva Vintage Monologues

A Theatre Project for those who experience life over 60:

A staged reading of monologues, scense and stories that speak to the experience of sexuality after 60. Funny, fun, heartbreaking and real!

On tour through Calgary's libraries this summer!

Brought to you by Seniors a GOGO

Treated Equal Stuff

I'm aghast. And I'm also not, in that Doug Elniski was elected by conservative voters and supported by Stelmach. From the Calgary Herald:

A Tory MLA is under fire for online comments in which he advises girls to smile to attract men, scolds them for seeking equality and alerts his Twitter followers to a bikini car wash where "girls look cold." . . . In an entry that began with reflections on junior high school graduations, Elniski posted this advice to girls: "Men are attracted to smiles, so smile and don't give me that 'treated equal' stuff, if you want equal it comes in little packages at Starbucks."

He also wrote: "There is nothing a man wants less than a woman scowling because he thinks he is going to get sh--for something and has no idea what."
On the same day, Elniski posted the following Twitter comment: "bikini car wash 82 129 ave girls look cold (...)"

Yuck. This guy also twittered at the Edmonton Pride Parade some remarkable homophobia. Check out Tiny Perfect Blog's report on his remarks.
His website and biography note some quirky trivia: he's the tallest MLA in the legislature! WOW! What a claim! He's a great big tower of misogyny.

World of Teen Modeling

Sena Cech is one of a handful of models who has decided to talk publicly about the seedy, unglamorous and, on occasion, abusive side to her profession for a new documentary, Picture Me. The woman behind the film is Sara Ziff, a catwalk model turned documentary maker.

Introspection

The first time I saw a Heidi Taillefer painting was in Montreal. The Yves Laroche Gallery had her work in its front show room and I couldn't take my eyes off it. Her detail, design and mechanical subject took my breath away. Ms. Taillefer muses in her blog:

Maybe art is soul, and to say it has no purpose in the world would be like saying the physical body has no purpose if the spirit exists. Art seems to carry us along the drama of life, providing meaning to our existence as it acts as the channel through which the soul can pass into this dimension, a dimension we can perceive and understand. We live in the physical world, a world of imperfect modes of expression, communication, or representation, such as language, medium, context or technique...and this challenges and engages us in a way that actually makes things more interesting, if not also frustrating.

I have a crush.

Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick

"Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, whose critical writings on the ambiguities of sexual identity in fiction helped create the discipline known as queer studies, died on Sunday in Manhattan. She was 58."

Epilepsy is Dancing

Thanks to MS for the introduction to Antony & the Johnsons. This video is just a beautiful celebration. From the website:

Antony asked his friends the Wachowski Brothers to work with him on a video for his new single "Epilepsy is Dancing". They in turn invited painters Tino Rodriguez and Virgo Paraiso to create costumes and a mystical environment and choreographer Sean Dorsey and his dancers to bring the dream sequence to life. Antony's artistic partner Johanna Constantine stars as herself in the role of "Deer Monster". The video was lit and shot by the up-and-coming directors of photography, Chris Blasingame and Banker White, and produced by Jim Jerome. The production team collectively named themselves AFAS. Please enjoy the fruits of their San Francisco art party.